The subconscious mind is a beautiful poetess… she weaves together imagery, memories, and feelings in this evocative tapestry that brings up everything you’ve been avoiding seeing.
There is something about me and October.
Until 2012, I don’t think I can remember a single October as being particularly outstanding. But since, each and every year, the month that brings me beautiful things like cozy scarves, pumpkin spice everything and Halloween, also brings a lot of challenges. In 2012, I was laid off from a job I loved. In 2013, I had a client pass away which started a series of events the concluded with me having a mental breakdown. 2014-2016 was mostly the challenges of a budding business.
And then there was 2017.
TW: this post contains general references to the shooting in Vegas, and the #metoo campaign.
I’m not the type to keep quiet…
If you’ve been following me for any time at all, you know that I don’t shy away from the tough conversations. But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing lately. I was in Vegas during the shooting earlier this month. It was my last night in town after the Passion to Profits event, and instead of joining my friends who were jumping off the Stratosphere hotel, I felt a strong pull to stay at my hotel. I’ll be honest, it felt a little lame. It was my last night in town, I was footloose and fancy free, and instead of doing something exhilarating, or seeing a show, or devouring something gourmet, I played penny slots with the angels, climbed into bed with a headache about 10, and was asleep when the worst happened. It wasn’t until my friend came back to our room at 3am after running through the chaos on the south end of the strip and being stuck in a neighbouring hotel on lockdown that I even found out what happened.
Last year, I found myself in a department store with my two sisters, looking at handbags and totes. I roamed the aisles, mostly unimpressed, but fell in love with a Kate Spade bag that was $400.
“Someday, I’m going to own a Kate Spade bag.” I said, to my sisters.
I’d like to start this article off with one statement that I believe to be true: It’s important to know yourself. We can agree on that, right? It’s the key to finding the right jobs and relationships. It’s how we can experience in a life that is totally soul nourishing and fills us up with a billion shades of YES every day. But when we don’t know ourselves, we get caught up with bandwagon after bandwagon. We buy into the formulas that every guru is selling, and we devour hungrily but feel unfulfilled.
This term, “what you resist, persists” always seems to be used in negative ways. But something I’ve noticed is when something is meant to be, no matter how much you try to stop it from happening, it will find a way to materialize. I’ve seen this over and over again in my life… the same lessons, same dynamics in relationships would repeat themselves until I let the lesson in. In my business, well let’s just be honest… I wasn’t meant to be an aromatherapist, or a product maker like I tried in my first business, Pampered Goddess. While I gave it my all, it simply wouldn’t get off the ground, no matter the strategy, or how much money I threw at it. And while I hustled with it, people (some who knew my background as a designer, some who saw my PG branding and found out I did my own) would ask if they could hire me for branding and design. At first, I was resentful. DIDN’T THEY KNOW I was here for BIG THINGS, and to help people… not to make stuff pretty?