How to feel more connected

I like to think this blog, and my podcast, The Lightwalker’s Path, are two of the places we can get 100% real and honest about things. In particular, topics that are typically spoken about with such high praise and reverence (spirituality, parenthood, entrepreneurship, body positivity) that when you’re having very real feelings that are less than sparkly, you feel so shitty because everyone around you is gushing about how great it is.

Connection is one of those areas.

When people first begin their spiritual paths, they enter the honeymoon phase of their relationship with their faith. They view their connection with rose tinted glasses, they haven’t dug deeply into the shadow work yet so that hasn’t been challenged, and they are experiencing the good sides of the path, still privately, so it hasn’t ruffled the feathers of those around them yet.

It’s actually a really nice place to be in, but it’s not fully doing the work.

My honeymoon phase lasted a few years. Suddenly I had community, I had support, I was surrounded by other people doing the work. I was honest and open about it, but I wasn’t living my truth with full conviction yet, so it didn’t challenge my loved ones. And I deepened into the knowingness of my own self in some beautiful and profound ways.

But in 2013, all of that changed. I had a mental breakdown that would result in nearly a year of being bed-bound, struggling with debilitating anxiety. It happened around the same time I got married, so when I vanished, a lot of people thought I was one of those gals who meets a man and ditches all her friends. I withdrew from my community, with most of my connection to the outside world, and even going to the grocery store across the street was too overwhelming.

My “dark night of the soul” was about 10 months, and when I turned to the tools I’d cultivated at that time: meditation, deep breathing, crystal energy and elixirs, prayer and mantras, none of it worked.

I think most of us find ourselves at that crossroads, in some form or another.

It’s not always a mental health episode, it could be the loss of a loved one, losing a job, a relationship ending, an illness or injury… anything that strips you down to your rawest self, makes you question everything you know to be true, and shakes the foundation you stand upon.

In my client work, when I meet people at this state of transition, change, and disconnect from everything they once knew or were, my guides flash the same symbol to me… it’s a poster of a poem I used to see everywhere as a child, called Footprints in the sand.  In it, this guy is reviewing his life with God. As they walk along the beach he sees that every time life was challenging, there was only one set of footprints in the sand and thinks God has abandoned him in his most trying times. God replied “Naw man, that’s when I carried you.” (I may be paraphrasing a bit here.)

So I see a beach, and sand, and one set of footprints in my mind’s eye, and I realize they feel lost, forgotten abandoned. They’re disconnected from the experience of being a child of the divine, and they need to dial this back in. In a recent chat with a client the angels showed me the easiest way to dial back into our connection with the divine/universe/God/whatever term you’re comfortable with.

It’s simple. To feel more connection, there are 2 things to do every day.

Start your day by choosing to connect.

Creating a simple morning ritual where you open up to receive guidance or support. It can be pulling an oracle card, journalling, meditation, automatic writing, creating a piece of mini art… whatever works with you, however the divine works through you, is a good place to start. You’ll want to make it something that’s simple, easy to stick to, ideally portable (so you can take it with you when you travel), and something that isn’t time intensive. The goal is to make it easy to incorporate into your day so tuning in each morning quickly becomes your new normal. Honestly, keep it simple: it can be as simple as a prayer like “Thank you God for guiding me to experiences that make me feel connected to you today.”

End your day with gratitude.

Gratitude, and deep relaxing breaths, are two of the biggest gifts you can give to your nervous system. So having a gratitude practice, especially before bed, is a wonderful way to send the signals to your brain that it’s been a good day, and you’re ready to end it on a good note. When we focus on it and experience it viscerally, gratitude boosts alpha waves, our feel good brainwaves, so when we reflect on what we’re grateful for before we go to sleep, the body feels good, the brain is ready for a relaxed sleep (that’s hopefully dreamless), and vibrationally, you’re on a higher frequency.

Why does that matter?

Gratitude is also a beautiful remedy for a guarded heart. When we focus on the people/places/things/experiences we’re grateful for, we shift the focus away from all the reasons we need to protect ourselves, and begin to open up our hearts. Plus, if the goal is to connect, who do you think is listening to talk about what you’re grateful for? 😉

Extra Credit: Dialogue with the divine throughout the day.

This is probably the ways I am the most devout and connected to my path. I pretty much speak to the angels all day, every day, usually thanking them for good things, or for helping me through hard times.

“Thank you angels for guiding me to the right words to support my client.”

“Thank you angels for a safe, easy commute, where we arrive on time.”

“Thank you angels for making this day even better than I could have imagined.”

(You’ve probably noticed these all start with thank you – I definitely approach my angels from a place of gratitude whenever we connect – but find what works for you. Mine used to be things like, “I’m really scared walking home alone, please let me arrive safely.” I’ve found shifting it to a thank you instead of a please has helped me feel connected and not like a weird power imbalance if that makes sense…)

Because here’s the truth…

That feeling of disconnect is not only illusion, but of our own making. Our guides are always by our side, they don’t just leave us to fend for ourselves. What changes is our inability to experience them. And I get it: we shut ourselves down, close off our hearts, and put the shields up to protect ourselves from hurt, disappointment, heartbreak, burn out, and so on. It’s a natural response. But we can consciously choose to do things differently if we want to recommit to this connection and feel dialled in once again.

When we tune out, everything shuts down. Sure, we protect ourselves from the hard stuff, but we don’t fully experience the good stuff either. It impedes our ability to connect with our loved ones, our creativity, our pleasure (in all its forms). We become passengers in our lives, riding in the backseat of self driving cars, instead of being masters of our own destiny.

We can choose differently. If we have the courage, and the willingness, and the commitment to try.

With love and magic,