Why do we make anger management so hard?
But we have this belief, as a collective, that anger work is hard, complicated, stressful. That it’s going to mean digging into your trauma and facing your darkness. It activates our sympathetic nervous system (the fight or flight response). And many of us also hold onto a story that we need to work hard for something to be worthwhile. My goal for the approach I use with anger as a sacred teacher (in my book or my programs) is that we can squash that belief and embrace our worthiness.
You’re allowed for it to be gentle. Easy. Graceful. And I’m going to share the 5 things you need to do every day in order to make your process with anger a little bit gentler. (And if you’re ready to dive in, you know where to find me.)
Are videos more your jam?
When you first wake up, ask your heart and your body what you need and how it feels.
As well, if you’re someone who holds onto beliefs of being unworthy or undeserving, this process becomes VERY validating for your tender heart. Imagine starting each day with the message: your needs, your desires, your feelings matter. I will factor them into this day. Powerful stuff right? This is one of the easiest gifts you can give yourself.
Move your body in a way that feels good.
I’m not going to try to convince you that any particular workout regime is right for you – however you choose to move needs to feel GOOD to you, especially if it’s something you’re going to commit to every day. Some people are going to enjoy the rush of endorphins that comes from a run. Others enjoy the physicality and the socialization of a group sport. Some will have solo dances in their living room. I personally love the stretch and supportive feelings of Restorative Yoga. What you do doesn’t matter as much as doing something regularly so that energy has somewhere to go.
How long you move your body will also depend on what feels good, what your personal physical abilities allow and what fits into your life. It may take some experimentation to find what works for you and your body, but give it a shot.
Drink LOTS of water.
Honour your boundaries (even the little ones).
End the day with a gratitude inventory.
I know a lot of people who will do this with a journal (or bullet journal) and do either a brain dump or stream of consciousness about the events they’re grateful for from that day. Other people create a gratitude jar and each day will include a note of what they’re most grateful for from that day, and then on New Year’s Eve they open the jar and reminisce. For me, I like doing it as a prayer before I go to sleep. I lay in bed, and talk to my angels to cut and clear the energies from the day and protect myself as I sleep. And I end with thanking them for the beautiful things that took place, and more often than not, I’m drifting off thinking about what I’m most grateful for.
When we get to the point of explosive anger, it’s usually been an accumulation of lots of events that have added up until the energy needed to move. When we honour ourselves from the get go and hold very clear and communicated boundaries anger doesn’t get an opportunity to become explosive.
Let’s re-write the anger story…
With love and magic,
Ready to move your Anger?
Sometimes anger shows up at an inopportune moment, and it can be hard to think of what to do on the fly. (Because let’s be honest, anger doesn’t create the clearest headspace.) I’ve gotchu covered. Download my free checklist: 44 Ways to Kick Anger’s Ass so you can get those feelings moving and get on with your day.
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