Today I was chatting with a friend, about stepping into a teaching role. She and I are in similar places in our businesses, though in entirely different industries, and we’ve both been comfortable being practitioners of our crafts, but often working someone else’s magic, instead of fully owning our own. I think my transition happened first. I’m not even sure how it came about to be honest. But I remember the first time I noticed it… It was the final day of a retreat I’d hosted last year, and there was a conflict I needed to manage, and after doing it (without losing my cool, with a clear purpose of resentment-free resolution) I felt this KNOWING… that I had become a leader. Even then though, in my business, I tended to hold back. I was crafting my messages carefully, saying the right things, censoring a lot. And I’ll be honest… it landed on deaf ears. Because even though I knew strategically what to do, and what to say, the energy behind it was totally misaligned, and I wasn’t speaking in my true voice.
Then I started working on a Facebook live and I dropped an eff bomb… and instead of thinking “Aww shit, I just swore on live video” I carried on. And it felt GOOD. I felt real and raw and uncensored. I started doing videos with no make up and frizzy hair… I didn’t get stressed when my cat jumped into where I was shooting because I was going for casual and candid… because that’s who I am. It wasn’t just about the swearing, it was about having strong opinions. My soap box videos where I rant about various things I’m passionate about are the ones that get the most exposure. Because they’re ME. And I’m shining my light, whether you like it or not.
We get caught up in doing things the way we were taught. Or by industry standards. Or the way they’ve always been done. But that shit is tiresome, and it KILLS creativity, spontaneity and any possibility of innovation. It can also stunt your energy. If you’re hiding behind these excuses and things don’t feel aligned, you’ve gotta change. You need to carve your own path, and do things your own way.
Now… I have a funny story about that. When I was 10 years old, my dad took me pinecone hunting in the Gatineau Mountains cause we wanted to make Christmas wreaths. Instead of taking a path, he bushwacked his way through the shrubs, with my brother and I in tow. He forgot that at nearly 6 feet, his experience of the shrubs was very different than ours… in particular mine… because at 10 years old, I had looooooong flowy brown hair… and you know what loves long hair? BURRS. It took several hours, and every slippery thing my dad could think of (butter, canola oil, conditioner, hand lotion, etc) to get them out of the bird’s nest that ended up on top of my head. It was a nightmare… so I guess what I’m saying is carve your own path, but make sure your peeps are still following you and not trapped in prickly plants. 😉
Because here’s the thing, peaches… you have a gift that only YOU can deliver to this world of ours. So when you hold back, or play small, or censor yourself, or HIDE – you deny the world the magic that you were brought here to bring. The magic that only YOU can give. I know it’s big, and it can be scary, but once you’re in the groove, and you’ve found your voice and you’re sharing yourself, it’s also incredibly freeing. No more bullshit. No more faking it. No more holding back. Sharing your light is immense self-care because you don’t have to pretend to be anything other than your brilliant self.
Doesn’t that sound amazing?
Like any new muscle, it takes time to grow and strengthen. Keep working it. Baby steps, one by one. Test it out. Flex it. Bit by bit it will be come as natural to you as breathing. And then you’ll wonder why you ever held back in the first place.
Showing up, exactly as you are, with the gifts that only YOU can bring, is the best client attraction magnet in the world. When you shine your light as authentically as you can, as brightly as you’re able, your peeps will find you, gobble it up and be begging for more. Authenticity, openness, and visibility are not just medicine for the soul, they’re good for business.
So what are you waiting for?