When it’s all too much

If you’re anything like me you’re feeling the big energies that came with last week’s full moon eclipse (not to mention planets going into retrograde) – and while they were intense, they had nothing on some big emotion-laden news that happened afterward. Arizona is bringing back the death penalty. The Supreme Court in the US is trying to overturn Roe v. Wade. And here in Canada, a mass grave with 215 children who were forcibly removed from their families and their culture were found outside of a former residential school. Not to mention the crises in the Gaza strip and Columbia. 

Let’s call it like it is: a fucking lot to process.

I’ve got a to-do list out the wazoo but my head and my heart are distracted by the energies and emotions I’ve been experiencing. I’ve committed to sharing more than love and light in my life and my leadership, which has meant navigating these shadows and the emotions that come with them. 

Here’s what I’ve been doing to manage… I hope it helps you too.

Return to the breath

When we are feeling deeply, especially uncomfortable emotions like heartbreak, rage,

shame or worry, our nervous system shifts into fight or flight (sympathetic) or freeze (dorsal). While the sympathetic response is one where action is possible, it’s not always the most helpful or aligned action. (Unless you’re channeling your energy through Sacred Anger or Sacred Activism like I talk about in my book.) The dorsal vagal response is immobile – it’s where we’re consumed by what we’re feeling to the point of overwhelm and we can get stuck.

The breath can shift so much.

By breathing slowly and deeply, our heart rate starts to calm down and we can shift into the parasympathetic response, or at least lower the intensity of any sympathetic reactions we’re still engaged with. The calmer we are, the better we are at being able to make positive change, but that’s not possible when we’re consumed by our emotions. 

Those same slow deep breaths can increase your brain’s Alpha waves which are the feel good brainwaves, leading us to more calm and happiness. While that may feel like a stretch in the moment, anything we can do to bring us closer to that being possible is a win.

The breath is one of your greatest resources when emotions run high. It’s not something you need to remember or carry with you. Slow down and give yourself the space to breathe. Your body thanks you for it.

Find an outlet

How you move emotions is deeply personal and it can also be ever changing. What worked for you yesterday may not work for you today, so it’s important to have a few strategies up your sleeve for when emotions run high.

Many of the suggestions I make in Chapter 9 of Sacred Anger can be applied to most difficult emotions. I’ve also created a free checklist to give you something to reference of things to try. 

Let’s break it down into a few suggestions:

Something Physical

  • Yell into a pillow
  • Go for a run
  • Dance it out
  • Break stuff (safely)
  • Gentle yoga – especially child’s pose

Something Emotional

  • Talk it out with someone safe
  • Tapping (emotional freedom technique)
  • Therapy or coaching
  • Use movies or music to help you get it out
  • Practice self-forgiveness

Something Energetic

  • Burn sacred smoke like sage and palo santo
  • Release into crystals like hematite and black tourmaline
  • Ground with your feet in the earth
  • Hug a tree
  • Chant a calming mantra 108 times

What you choose to do to move it doesn’t matter – what does is finding an outlet that works for you. I go into my full process The Sacred Anger Strategy on this blog post. It’ll support you in making the most of your uncomfortable emotions.

How you move emotions is deeply personal and it can also be ever changing. What worked for you yesterday may not work for you today, so it’s important to have a few strategies up your sleeve for when emotions run high.


I’ve been writing about this a bit on Instagram. When hard emotions rise, we tend to try to avoid them, pretend they aren’t happening or rush the process. We rarely sit down and just allow them to move through, and that’s where the healing happens. The majority of my coaching work is about making sure no emotions are taboo – it’s safe to #feelitall with me. As the expression goes, we have to feel it to heal it.

This might mean leaning on your spiritual practice or rituals, and maybe doing even more of them. (If you don’t have any yet, make sure to check out my retreat happening this month, A Weekend of Rituals.) It could mean taking an afternoon to just let it be messy (maybe do some of the things mentioned above). I’m talking ugly crying, fiery breaths, really embodying the emotion and allow it to be transient so it just passes on through you. 

Feeling it all means supporting your mind, body, and soul. You don’t have to do this alone, and for some parts it’s probably better that you don’t. Drink lots of water, listen to what your heart needs, find the right supports, and witness what comes up for you. Questions I like to ask when I’m in my own process of feeling it all include:

  • I’m feeling X… what else is coming up?
  • When have I felt this before?
  • What did I learn then? Does that apply to now?
  • What do I need to feel safe in this?
  • What supports would help me right now?

You may find it easier to express your feelings by curating a playlist that evokes what you’re feeling. Or you may want it to be something visual like a collage or painting. (I’ve been using Canva’s background remover tool to make digital collages, and have been doing a lot of paint and calligraphy in my practice lately.)

One last thing to remember is this: emotions are not forever. Even the ultra intense ones. The less we try to grip them and the more we allow, the easier the transition will be. 

Something to consider: the power of DOING

Sometimes things are big, out of your hands and you can feel powerless. If what you’re feeling is a faster vibrating emotion like anger, frustration or fear, sometimes the best thing you can do to calm it is to give it some direction. Write letters to your politicians, sign petitions, go to protests. Talk about it, blog about it, share on social media. Donate or volunteer for causes associated with the things you’re upset about. Put those feelings to work for you – making positive change in the world. It’s the best way to take your power back and feel some agency in your world.

With love and magic,

It all begins with a conversation…

When you learn to make Anger your ally, you tap into aspects of you that you didn’t even know were there. Secrets you kept from yourself that it’s time to acknowledge and heal. I’ve created a guide teaching you 3 different tools to help you talk to your Anger, so you can learn the lessons within it, and make your way back to joy.


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