Here are 5 ways to know your sacred spark is fizzling out – and what you can do about it.

You No Longer Love What You’re Doing

Whether you defined yourself by your career, your role as a caregiver, or you spent your time recreationally, when the sacred spark fades the love goes with it. This is especially true when you felt fuelled and passionate about the roles you played, and it can be a bit scary as you call your entire identity into question when what you used to love is no longer bringing joy. In some cases, this goes a step further and you don’t just not love what you’re doing – you have no idea what to do instead.

Something to try: 

Deep dive into desire. Explore what it is that is no longer feeling aligned about the thing you loved, and what it is that shifted. Did something change, or did YOU change? (Both are okay.) If you aren’t sure what to do instead, what is one thing you’ve always been curious about trying? Gift yourself the space to explore that, knowing it doesn’t have to be a perfect fit and that you may not get it right the first time. All of which is a-ok.

You’re Stuck In The Past

If you find yourself playing out the “coulda, woulda, shouldas” in your mind, there’s a good chance you’re stuck in the past. We have a lot of conversations on social media about not comparing ourselves to others – but what about comparing with former versions of yourself? Being stuck in the yesteryears is usually a symptom of your current life being devoid of joy, pleasure and achievement – all of which are fuel for your sacred spark.

Something to try:

Gratitude is often the best remedy for stuckness. And if things are especially crummy at the moment, you don’t have to try to pretend they aren’t for this exercise. Make a mental list of the people, places and experiences that you’re the most grateful for experiencing. Choose the ones that hold the biggest charge and try to remember them as vividly as you can – use all of your senses. Take a minute to be with those sensations… this will boost your alpha waves which can help you feel good and bring you back to the present.

You’ve Become A Bit Of A Bummer

When your sacred spark is on the fritz, one of the first things that goes is a sense of possibility and hope for the future. It leads you to feeling pessimistic, cynical, and uninterested and it disconnects you from your ability to see the world with childlike wonder. It’s harder to give the benefit of the doubt and you expect the worst – even without any reason for doing so. And it makes sense – your sacred spark is your inner light… if it’s feeling darker, the rest of the world kinda follows suit.

Something to try:

Reconnect with your inner child – the version of you who hasn’t been frustrated and let down by the world. Watching your favourite kid’s movies, colouring (even in sweary adult colouring books), or doing something messy like finger painting or baking can be a treat. You could also try this inner child journey I recorded. Ultimately you want to take a break from the adult world, just for a minute. Let go a little – bring some of the wonder back.

You’re Leaning On Bad Habits

Numbing out is a coping strategy to help you deal with life, and it’s tricky one. Everyone experiences this differently (chips for someone might be a snack and someone else may eat them as a compulsion) and it’s not even the behaviour itself that’s the issue, but our relationship to it. If it’s something you’re consciously choosing and enjoying (think snuggling down to watch your favourite show, or having a glass of wine with friends) then that’s great… it’s when those behaviours jump into the driver’s seat or become habits and unconscious choices that we want to reel them in. When the sacred spark goes out, life starts to feel less pleasurable, and while you may not be in the grip of depression, you are looking for ways to escape. Look, there’s nothing wrong with coping, we just don’t want that to be our everyday way of being. If it is, it’s time to make some changes so you can build a life you don’t need to numb out from. 

Something to try:

Instead of trying to overthrow your bad habits, try committing to cultivating the opposite. For example, if you numb out with social media, gift yourself 30 minutes you’d typically spend scrolling to listen to an audiobook or podcast. (You can still hang out on social, just give yourself something first.) If you numb out by overscheduling your life so you never have to be alone with your thoughts, gift yourself with a 5-minute guided meditation in the morning and try it every day. You don’t have to give up the things that are bringing you comfort – they’re there for a reason. By giving yourself something supportive as well, both needs are being met.

You Don’t Feel A Sense Of Accomplishment – Even Though You Keep Succeeding

I teach a lot about developing unshakeable certainty in who you are, which is the deep, soul-level knowing all that you are. So much so that even on a bad day you can still recognize your good. There’s a big difference in the essence of who you truly are, and what you do/how you show up – but they often get entangled. And when they do, your worth and your success get knotted together. This keeps you on a constant quest of striving for bigger, better, MORE – oftentimes not even the things you actually want, which drains your sacred spark. Once your spark begins to fade, no matter how much you’re winning, how much you make, or what success criteria you meet – it all feels a little ‘meh’.

Something to try:

Try redefining success on your own terms – only you get to choose what winning looks like, and you need to be okay with ruffling feathers because people on the outside will have some opinions about you disrupting the status quo. Before you can do that, make sure you’re getting crystal clear on what you desire so defining success becomes easier. This is part of the process I teach in my group program, The Lit Up You. It’s available anytime and you get lifetime access including new content, and every live cohort I host. Click To Learn More.